Close Encounters

On my mind today is a memory of one of my first Close Encounters with God. I was about 10 and had recently made my choice to follow Christ. I had a precious Sunday School teacher (Sandy) who was teaching us about praying. Now I don't remember all that she said but I do know that she prompted me to take the things that concerned me to God in prayer.

With that in mind I lay in my bed one night fighting my usual fears. (I was terribly afraid of the dark and seemed to always be afraid of what might happen.) So, I decided to pray. I prayed about the things I feared and then a picture came to my mind that I instantly knew was God answering me.

I could see my house and coming out of the sky was something that resembled a glass cake topper and it covered my house. Some how I understood this as God protecting my house from anything "bad". In that moment I was reassured and confident that God had answered my prayer and I drifted off to sleep with no fear.

I will never forget that, (well, I might when I'm 80 something) it was just the beginning, but it is a point that I can go back to time and time again and remember that God cares about the things that concern us, even if in the scheme of things they are "big" things.

So, are you faithfully taking your cares (big and small) to your Heavenly Father? How has he demonstrated his love for you lately?

What's the big deal about prayer?!

Why in the wide world are there SO many books, sermons & lessons written and delivered over how to pray!? We don't have books to teach people how to speak. There are books that teach correct grammar in school, there are books that are written to teach us new languages, (to some prayer seems like a new language...keep reading) but parents aren't flying to the book store to find out how to teach their new baby how to talk, it is simply understood that a child learns how to speak by listening to us speak. The more we talk to our children the more they learn and we don't HAVE to dumb it down for them (though we often do) they learn from us by listening to us. Even Jesus taught his disciples to pray by example more than instruction.

Parents, you teach your children to pray the same way you taught them to talk. You pray with them and around them, daily and often. Don't just pray at dinner or at their bed side when they are little and you're tucking them in at night. Pray over them when they are sick, pray with them for teachers, friends and the needs that they are very aware of already. Pray for them and with them when they have bad dreams or a bad day. Teach them by example that YOU trust God with all of these things and they can too. Teach them that speaking to God doesn't have to be scheduled or formal, it can be as simple as praising God out loud for a beautiful sunrise or bringing you home safe through traffic. They will pick it up and before you even realize time has gone by your teenager will be praying over you when you're sick and you will be absolutely in-awed with them and wonder to yourself; "where did he learn to do that?". 

Those that have not been exposed to such examples are often overwhelmed by Church "Instructions" regarding prayer. "Your prayer needs to include A. B. and C". or some other cute little anagram. Honestly I think somehow in all our religiosity we accidentally plant fear and anxiety in peoples hearts over something that should be as natural as our everyday conversations with people. When we are first getting to know someone conversation can be rough, strained and uncomfortable, but once we begin to know that person better, words are easier; we begin to trust them with "real" thoughts and the deep things of our hearts. It is the same with God. Mr & Ms Long Time Church Goer, when someone asks you how to pray; encourage them to simply talk to God about whatever comes to mind and either take time to help them get to know God better or help them get connected to someone who will.

Beloved child of God, don't be afraid of prayer, it's not one of those things that you can do so terribly wrong that it isn't going to count or God is not going to listen to you. All God wants is for you to sit down next to him on the couch or across the table at Starbucks and talk. Ask Him questions, listen, and trust him with what is on your mind. Pick up your Bible and learn as much about Him as you possibly can, pester other people who know Him to tell you more about Him. Unfortunately He doesn't have a Facebook page where you can "creep on him" :-) but there are plenty of other ways to get to know him. It may start off awkwardly but it will get better, just keep at it! You will never be the same again!

It all Boils Down to...(Part 1)

I suppose it's rather simplistic, maybe even naive, to think so but it seems to me that most every difficulty we encounter in life (if not everything) boils down to faith, or the lack thereof. Part 1 of this essay will tackle just one example, for the sake of brevity.

Though I don't recall how long it lasted, I think maybe a year or two (maybe more), there was a point in my marriage where I was sorely discontent. I blamed Gary for our financial discomfort, for my life and family not being what I had imagined it to be. I (in my mind) criticized his Spiritual leadership, and many other things. Even though I never verbalized my frustration and disappointment I know it showed it my attitude and interactions with him. I let these thoughts run unchecked in my mind and they drove me into a deep depression. I don't know how successful I was at hiding it but no one every confronted me about it. I had myself pretty fooled too, I could handle this, I could adjust, I could ignore my feelings and just keep chugging along.

Thankfully, God was not content to let me continue on this way and I continued to worship him as best I could, I refused to walk out on God or my family, no matter how hard the temptations came at me. I'm not saying that was my own will that saved me from temptation but God faithfully at work in me.  (It is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. Phil 2:13) Over time and through a number of different books I read during that time I realized that my discontent or anger wasn't with Gary at all, but God. How dare I be angry with God? I couldn't admit that to be true so I had to blame Gary. Either him or me. Gary was more convenient so I continued to direct my frustration at him. Still, God faithfully, tenderly worked in my heart to show me that I wasn't having a marital issue, I wasn't even having a depression issue, I was in fact, having a faith issue.

I was having a "crisis of faith" as Henry Blackaby calls it in his book: "Experiencing God". I had to come to grips with the fact that I was looking to Gary to do what only God could do and I was blaming Gary for things that God was fully in control of.  God had taken us where He wanted, we were care for by God alone and while Gary and I both had a responsibility to be obedient to God's leadership ultimately God was at the center of everything in my life. God is Sovereign. God is my Provider. My anger stemmed from not truly believing that God was at work in Gary, in me, and in my family. If I wanted to move forward out of this darkness of temptation, fear, anger, frustration, and depression I had to hold fast to my vows to Gary on our wedding day and to the truth that God both could and would work all these things together for his good.

I don't think it any mere consequence that during this time of darkness that our church  had a vow renewal service on Valentine's Day. I couldn't very well wiggle out of that and admit to Gary and everyone else that I really didn't want to. So I did and I think it was the best thing I could have done, even though I didn't think so at the time. I realized, after God had worked sufficiently in me ,that by renewing those vows when I didn't really FEEL "in love" I cinched up my heart to be obedient and TRUST God with my fears and doubts. (Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path...Proverbs 3:5&6).

So what is your fear? What are you projecting on to a loved one that truly belongs to God? What do you really believe to be true about God? Are you acting accordingly?

The more I know God the more I trust Him; the more I trust Him the more I learn of Him and trust him more...

Favorite Prayers from Scripture 112410

2 Chronicles 20:1-15 TNIV

1 After this, the Moabites and Ammonites with some of the Meunites came to make war on Jehoshaphat.
2 Some people came and told Jehoshaphat, “A vast army is coming against you from Edom, from the other side of the Dead Sea. It is already in Hazezon Tamar” (that is, En Gedi). 3 Alarmed, Jehoshaphat resolved to inquire of the Lord, and he proclaimed a fast for all Judah.4 The people of Judah came together to seek help from the Lord; indeed, they came from every town in Judah to seek him.
5 Then Jehoshaphat stood up in the assembly of Judah and Jerusalem at the temple of the Lord in the front of the new courtyard6 and said:
“ Lord, the God of our ancestors, are you not the God who is in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. Power and might are in your hand, and no one can withstand you. 7 Our God, did you not drive out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel and give it forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend? 8 They have lived in it and have built in it a sanctuary for your Name, saying,9 ‘If calamity comes upon us, whether the sword of judgment, or plague or famine, we will stand in your presence before this temple that bears your Name and will cry out to you in our distress, and you will hear us and save us.’
10 “But now here are men from Ammon, Moab and Mount Seir, whose territory you would not allow Israel to invade when they came from Egypt; so they turned away from them and did not destroy them. 11 See how they are repaying us by coming to drive us out of the possession you gave us as an inheritance.12 Our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”
13 All the men of Judah, with their wives and children and little ones, stood there before the Lord.
14 Then the Spirit of the Lord came on Jahaziel son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattaniah, a Levite and descendant of Asaph, as he stood in the assembly.
15 He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.

You should read the rest of the story too...it's pretty cool how God won this battle!

Thoughts on Prayer 112310

I go into my chamber
to sit before your throne
As many men and women
Have done from days of old
I wait there for your Spirit
to guide me as I pray
For never, Lord, do I know
exactly what to say.

Look on my heart and see
My feet washed in the basin
Look on my heart and see
Me clothed in your salvation
Look on my heart and see
The sacrifice was given
So I could come before your
Throne and have you look
Look on my heart.

I've read story after story
Of people gone before
Who came into your presence
And called on you, Lord.
Some would come in holiness
Some would come in shame
All came in humility
And called upon your Name.

I may be calling with the voice of an angel
I may be calling from the pits of sin and pain
But your promise is forever sure
that you will hear my voice
When I call to you In Jesus Name.

Look on my heart and see
My feet washed in the basin
Look on my heart and see
Me clothed in your salvation
Look on my heart and see
The sacrifice was given
So I could come before your
Throne and have you look
Look on my heart.

Favorite Prayers from Scripture 112310

2 Kings 20:1-6 NLT

1  About that time Hezekiah became deathly ill, and the prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to visit him. He gave the king this message: “This is what the LORD says: Set your affairs in order, for you are going to die. You will not recover from this illness.”2 When Hezekiah heard this, he turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD, 3 “Remember, O LORD, how I have always been faithful to you and have served you single-mindedly, always doing what pleases you.” Then he broke down and wept bitterly.4 But before Isaiah had left the middle courtyard, this message came to him from the LORD: 5 “Go back to Hezekiah, the leader of my people. Tell him, ‘This is what the LORD, the God of your ancestor David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears. I will heal you, and three days from now you will get out of bed and go to the Temple of the LORD. 6 I will add fifteen years to your life, and I will rescue you and this city from the king of Assyria. I will defend this city for my own honor and for the sake of my servant David.’”

Thoughts on Prayer 112210

You know how you can always tell when you're overhearing someone leaving a message on a answering machine? We just speak differently when we're recording a message than when we're interacting with another person. I've heard (from myself and others) many prayers that sounded like someone leaving a message on a machine. We aren't actually interacting with God. Instead we have this attitude that we'll just leave our prayer here and when God has time I know he'll get back to me.  Perhaps it comes from the feeling that God is somehow far away from us, or too busy to meet with us.

Incredible prayer times happen when we begin to grasp the truth, that God is near and he is listening.

One of my favorite prayers in Scripture

Ephesians 1:16-20 NLT

16 I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, 17 asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. 18 I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.19 I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power 20 that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.

How to Catch a Shadow

How do you catch a shadow? Actually chasing a shadow is pretty futile. You spend tremendous amounts of energy and in the end you have nothing of real substance that quickly seeps through your hands like water and your left to chase after it again.

The silliness of it is easy to see when I put it that way, but still people chase shadows all the time. Every time some one chases after a feeling they chase shadows. You want to feel like you used to feel about a person, God, your job...but instead you feel stale, stagnate, dry, unfulfilled...so what do you do? Do you change jobs, churches, boy/girl friends? Many do. Decisions like that, if based on a feeling that is or is not there, are seldom a good decision.

So how DO you catch a shadow? How do you get that feeling back? You chase after the substance of the shadow, not the shadow itself. Shadows move, bend, & fade but the substance of the shadow remains constant. So when you find what makes the shadow you sit & wait and in time the shadow will return. In the mean time we learn that it isn’t the shadow we wanted at all. Everything we wanted is in the substance.

Have you lost that "lovin" feeling? Pursue God (reading, praying, learning & obeying) the nearer you draw yourself into Him, no matter how you feel, the stronger your relationship becomes and while you may have seasons of that thrilling love feeling, when it fades there is still a deep, sure, confident love that never fades because it is the substance rather than the shadow.

All we ever really need to say

August 16, 2010

Reading Today: Captivating, Chapter 5 “A Special Hatred”

My thoughts: Abuse, neglect, violence, fear, rape, self-hatred, self-destruction… such horrible reminders of the deep pain that men and women experience as a result of Satan’s lies and our own sin fuel in me a hunger to say just the right words to draw just the right picture that anyone who sees, reads or hears them will be healed! Or at least start on the road to understanding.

We have such an awful enemy, more evil than the worst crime we could ever imagine, and he wreaks havoc in our minds and lives. It is easy to feel frustrated and hopeless. To think: we are doomed! And things only grow worse as time goes on! We will destroy ourselves to be sure!

Then, (cue bright lights and triumphant music) Then! GOD! The God I’ve loved and grown closer and closer to as the years have ebbed by, whispers; “Beloved”, “Sweetheart”, “you know the words have already been written, the picture has already been painted. You just need to repeat them again and again, to anyone and everyone who will listen! Write them, sing them, preach them, live them and never ever stop until I bring you home.”


Hebrews 4:13 Nothing in all creation can hide from him. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes. This is the God to whom we must explain all that we have done. 14 That is why we have a great High Priest who has gone to heaven, Jesus the Son of God. Let us cling to him and never stop trusting him. 15 This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same temptations we do, yet he did not sin. 16 So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it. (NLT)

2 Cor 5:21 For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ. (NLT)

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. 17 God did not send his Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it. 18 "There is no judgment awaiting those who trust him. But those who do not trust him have already been judged for not believing in the only Son of God. (NLT)

1 John 4:9 God showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. 10 This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. (NLT)

Romans 5:6 When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. 7 Now, no one is likely to die for a good person, though someone might be willing to die for a person who is especially good. 8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. 9 And since we have been made right in God's sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God's judgment. 10 For since we were restored to friendship with God by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be delivered from eternal punishment by his life. 11 So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God -- all because of what our Lord Jesus Christ has done for us in making us friends of God. (NLT)

Romans 8:1 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death. 3 The law of Moses could not save us, because of our sinful nature. But God put into effect a different plan to save us. He sent his own Son in a human body like ours, except that ours are sinful. God destroyed sin's control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. (NLT)

Galatians 4:3b We were slaves to the spiritual powers of this world. 4 But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. 5 God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children. 6 And because you have become his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, and now you can call God your dear Father. 7 Now you are no longer a slave but God's own child. And since you are his child, everything he has belongs to you. (NLT)

Ephesians 2:1 You were once dead because of your failures and sins. 2 You followed the ways of this present world and its spiritual ruler. This ruler continues to work in people who refuse to obey God. 3 All of us once lived among these people, and followed the desires of our corrupt nature. We did what our corrupt desires and thoughts wanted us to do. So, because of our nature, we deserved God's anger just like everyone else. 4 But God is rich in mercy because of his great love for us. 5 We were dead because of our failures, but he made us alive together with Christ. (It is God's kindness that saved you.) 6 God has brought us back to life together with Christ Jesus and has given us a position in heaven with him. 7 He did this through Christ Jesus out of his generosity to us in order to show his extremely rich kindness in the world to come. 8 God saved you through faith as an act of kindness. You had nothing to do with it. Being saved is a gift from God. 9 It's not the result of anything you've done, so no one can brag about it. 10 God has made us what we are. He has created us in Christ Jesus to live lives filled with good works that he has prepared for us to do. (GWT)

Fiddler On the Roof. I watched the mo...

Fiddler On the Roof. I watched the movie a couple of weeks ago, I hadn't seen it on film. It has been years since I've seen it on stage and I was too young to appreciate the story. This time, I paid attention and wow! What a great story. It is amazing how this story crosses time and keeps its relevance. Fiddler On the Roof made it's theater debut on September 22, 1964 (just three days before MY debut, on a much smaller but no less significant "stage") and is set in 1905 (Tsarist Russia)...now before I loose you in these little details note the theme of this dear story. A man is forced to confront change and must determine what "traditions" he can bend on and which ones he must adhere to. There is a lot of that going on today in the church and society, ("there is nothing new under the sun") what do we hold dear that is really just tradition and what is sacred? The story has its political side too, unfortunately we are all too familiar with prejudice and oppression. But I don't think I'll make that my focus here.

Tradition vs. inviolability. Where is the line between the two? What is the litmus test that determines? Tevye must choose. We must choose. Tevye was tested three times each within the parameters of choosing his daughter's husbands. The eldest challenged tradition by "falling in love" and asking her father to go back on his arrangements with a prominent business man on her marriage and allow her to marry her choice. The second daughter (he had five, poor guy) challenged tradition by not even asking her father's permission, only his "blessing". The third, by choosing a Russian. Each time Tevye wrestles with tradition. It was his place as "Papa" to choose the husband, but was it essential? He concludes for the first two, no, it was not essential that he choose the husband. But the third daughter, Chava, is a much different story. Here he determines he cannot, must not bend. THIS is more than tradition THIS is sacred, THIS is GOD's law. As a result Chava elopes, has a Catholic wedding and is "dead" to her Papa. I suppose all three of these situations seem a little rediculous to us, 105 years later but are they? Sure not many Americans arrange marriages anymore but what about marrying out of our faith? There was a news report on earlier this week about a father that was being sued because, against court agreements, he took his daughter to a Catholic Church, when the mother wanted to raise her in the Jewish faith. How much grief has been caused by couples marrying outside their faith or denomination even! What about that, is denomination a tradition or is it inviolable? Is faith tradition or is it sacred? How do we decide? How did Tevye decide?

Tevye, a poor milk man was, according to the book/play/movie, a man who loved learning. He knew the Torah, he knew the Talmud and he knew what was going on around him. He knew that the Torah prohibited marriage outside the Jewish faith. He knew that in the Talmud the rabbis had determined that the tradition of a father choosing his daughter's husbands was important and should be continued. The Torah was his measuring stick. Traditions are good but they aren't law. God's law is law, it never changes because the reason God wrote them is still the same...this is what is good for us, what will build us, keep us safe, healthy, and strong. These are the things we must hold true to and not let slide. What are you being tested with? Is it tradition/culture or is it God's Word? What laws have you thrown out as merely culture..."times have changed"..."this isn't realistic"..."this is out-dated". What traditions are you holding to as if they are law? "If it was good enough for _________ it's good enough for me", "we've never done it that way before", "its just not what I'm used to".

Don't get me wrong, there are many "traditions" I love, I love them like I love a family reunion, old stories and really good classic books. But I must resist the temptation to judge a person by what traditions they do or do not up-hold. There is only one Judge, and it's not me. There is only one thing He is going to judge by and it's not traditions, or even the law (Glory to God for GRACE!). God forbid that I toss off as tradition those things that make up godliness: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, justice, graciousness, and love. (yes I know I repeated love, all of these things must be encased in love to be of any value, it is the greatest commandment (Deu 6:5), it is the essential element (1 Cor 13), it is the proof of our dedication to Christ (Jhn 13:35))

Now, this is not in good writing form but it would be tragic for me not to reference the most beautiful scene in this whole story, so I break away from tradition! Ha! It is in Act I, scene 4, Sabbath Prayer. Tevye and his wife Golde sing a blessing over their daughters. It is precious. Oh that we would take the time to bless our children more. Or even better, instead of fighting over traditions, bless each other. "God bless you friend!" (not just because you sneezed), "God make His face to shine upon you", "May the wind be at your back", "God-speed!" or,my favorite Spanish salutation:  Valla con Dios! (Go with God) So I will conclude these rattled thoughts with the lyrics from Sabbath Prayer and sincerely pray that you will be blessed, today and everyday!

Fiddler on the Roof - Sabbath Prayer Lyrics

Send “Sabbath Prayer” Ringtone to Your Cell
May the Lord protect and defend you.
May He always shield you from shame.
May you come to be
In Israel a shining name.

May you be like Ruth and like Esther.
May you be deserving of praise.
Strengthen them, Oh Lord,
And keep them from the strangers' ways.

May God bless you and grant you long lives.
(May the Lord fulfill our Sabbath prayer for you.)
May God make you good mothers and wives.
(May He send you husbands who will care for you.)

May the Lord protect and defend you.
May the Lord preserve you from pain.
Favor them, Oh Lord, with happiness and peace.
Oh, hear our Sabbath prayer. Amen.

Joshua 5 - 6

Joshua 5 - 6

Israel starts a new phase in their journey with God and they enter Canaan almost like they left Egypt - crossing a river. But before they start conquering the land they renew their covenant w/ God (circumcision) and remember His promise of salvation (Passover). Then they are ready to do battle. God's instructions were clear: kill every living thing, destroy everything not made of metal, all metal things are to be put in the treasury, as an offering to God. But the method of this battle was unusual - walk around the walls until they fall down? Why? Why not do things the traditional way? Why destroy everything? What more does this story tell me besides a history lesson?

I read an interesting article the other day about the excavations of Jericho and it mentioned briefly that there was evidence to suggest there had been plague in Jericho at the time of Israel's siege. Just the idea of that made my imagination run - what was God protecting His people from? What kinds of things does my obedience protect me from that I don't even know about? We all face various battle in our lives, what can I learn from this battle?

As I journey with God I work through the sanctification process to rid my heart & mind of all that is not holy and true. One at a time God takes me to these places and shows me what needs to go. These are not battles I can fight on my own. These are not battles I can fight with sheer physical force. These are battles that require God's hand and my obedience. Obedience to engage, to follow through, to destroy, kill and burn all that does not acknowledge God, all that is not pure. To disobey on any level is to expose myself to disease and death. Maybe not physical disease but which is really worse - that which destroys the body or the soul?

What is my Jericho today?
Do I have fellow soldiers at my back?
What do I need to follow-through on?
Have I given God glory for his enduring faithfulness, patience and strength?

GODs Face

I had an interesting dream Saturday morning and I'd like to share it with you. There are somethings I don't really understand about it and other things I don't really remember vividly but there is enough I do understand to keep me from getting caught up in what I don't. I know God will reveal to me what I need to know, when I need to know it.

In the dream I was at a local fairground with a bunch of people. It was after dark but before the group broke up we prayed. After the prayer people started moving out of the area, but I stood frozen. At first I thought I was asleep and then I realized I was in a trance. The ground around me seemed to be moving then suddenly I was being lifted up. I remember thinking "cool! I'm having a flying dream!" then I realized I wasn't flying I was being lifted into the sky, I keep going up and up and begin to understood I was going into heaven. I started getting excited that I was going to see GOD then suddenly everything went black.

The next thing I knew I was back on earth, and awake from my trance. I am a little fuzzy on what was going on around me but I do remember going into someone's home and talking to them about Jesus when an older man stood right in my face yelling at me fiercely. Now, normally I'd be crumbling at that type of confrontation but in the dream I stood firm without any fear what-so-ever and here is how I responded to this man. "Sir, I have looked into the face of God Almighty and you are nothing compared to Him." At that the man fell backward and became silent. I told him that because of his unbelief God was going to strike him with leprosy. (I don't really know what that means or has to do with anything else, I just remember it.)

Next I was walking through the streets of a city declaring the Gospel. I don't remember much more than my emotions in all of this. I was bold, fearless, confident, excited at what God was doing and humbled that He was using me. I also felt a great sense of urgency like time was of the essence.

I know this isn't unique to me, but I am a fearful person. I like to blame my brothers a lot because they did their fair share to play on these fears but the reality is that the root was there already, in my vivid imagination, and they simply took advantage of that. Besides the usual fear of the dark and fear of being lifted off the ground (not of heights, of being picked up under the arms and lifted up off the ground - it's a trust thing) I fear, and this is hard to put into words, opposition. And that doesn't really describe it, I don't mind a good debate though I'm not a really good at it, I am fearful of coming across as disrespectful to any one older than me or in authority over me (The way I was raised that includes pastors, teachers, bosses, my husband and ALL men and older women). I am fearful of people who have stronger personalities than I do and have difficulty asserting myself in anyway. This dream gave me something to think about in regards to these fears.

I have not looked into the face of GOD, but someday it is a sure thing that I will. I think my pastor (James) must have said it 100 times tonight! (yes I exaggerate, but only to emphasize how loudly it came across to me.) I want to live today in confidence that when that day comes I have lived my life with a heavenly perspective. GOD is greater than anything I fear. GOD is all-powerful, no one else; GOD has control over my life and my death, no one else; GOD is my Judge, no one else. And GOD has promised me, time after time, that He will be my strength, my wisdom, my righteousness and my authority.

So there is my challenge, to live not just in faith for my ultimate salvation but in faith that GOD IS and rewards those who diligently seek him. (Hebrews 11:6)