The other day I started re-reading a book I've read several times over the course of the last 20 years. It's a book by Elisabeth Elliot called A Chance to Die / The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael. I don't remember exactly when I picked it up the first time but as I read over some of the things I have highlighted and underlined I know for a fact that my kids were still small and I was struggling with my significance in ministry when I spent most of my time at church in the nursery with my own babies. Why was I even there? I could take care of my kids at home and not have to put on pantyhose to do it! I remember being terribly frustrated by it all. Here is a segment of the book I have underlined:
"...if the Lord of glory took a towel and knelt on the floor to wash the dusty feet of His disciples (the job of the lowest salve in an Eastern household), then no work, even the relentless and often messy routine of caring for squalling babies, is demeaning. To offer it up to the Lord of Glory transforms it into a holy task. "Could it be right, " Amy had asked, " to turn from so much that might be of profit and become just nursemaids?" The answer was yes. It is not the business of the servant to decide which work is great, which is small, which important or unimportant--he is not greater than his master.
"If by doing some work which the undiscerning consider 'not spiritual work' I can best help others, and I inwardly rebel, thinking it is the spiritual for which I crave, when in truth it is the interesting and exciting, then I know nothing of Calvary love," Amy wrote after man years of such "unspiritual" work."
To give you some context (and hopefully not bore you) Amy Carmichael was an incredibly bold young woman called to the mission field in the late 1800's. After she had been in India for a number of years, traveling from village to village sharing the Gospel she began to long to rescue the young girls that were being sold to the Hindu temple to serve the gods. She prayed for years before she had a chance to save her first baby girl and soon began to realize that caring for these children would greatly change what her ministry looked like. She went from speaking the Gospel to living the Gospel in a very non-glorious way. (As any mother of small children can tell you.)
It took all the discipline I had to reject the idea that the day-in day-out messy and exhausting life of a MOP was at the bottom most rung of importance. I know what you're thinking; "isn't that an obvious truth?" From a distance, yes. But when you're in the pit, sleep deprived, un-bathed, covered in snot (0r worse); no. No it's not. It is so unglamorous and women love glamor. It is SO not sexy and husbands love sexy, you begin to feel like a worn out old couch that has been spilled on, romped on, torn to pieces and ready for the garbage heap...hmm...I think I've gone off on a rant...my point...ah yes, there is a point!
As I'm writing I'm getting an image. Motherhood is much like mining for gold. It is a dirty job, but the end results are precious! More precious than gold or rubies. We aren't just wiping noses and bottoms we are teaching that loves does anything, goes anywhere and exhausts itself daily for the sake of it's object. God's love went to the cross, a mother's love holds your hair back when your sick and then cleans up the mess. It is messy, gross, ugly, painful and quite beautiful. I am thankful that Jesus didn't sigh in frustration like I did sometimes. I am thankful he didn't lock himself in the bathroom just to get away from the clamor like I did. He just loved and that loved conquered any temptation he might of had to reject his humanity and his mission. Lord, let my love for my kids conquer my temptations to indulge my selfishness. Remind me daily how precious these children are to you, like you did for Amy:
"These children are dear to Me. Be a mother to them, and more than a mother. Watch over them tenderly, be just and kind. If thy heart is not large enough to embrace them, I will enlarge it after a pattern of My own. If these young children are docile and obedient, bless Me for it; if they are froward, call upon Me for help; if they weary thee, I will be thy consolation; if thou sink under they burden, I will be thy Reward."
I remember after reading a biography on Ruth Graham (yes, I like biographies) thinking about what an honor it would be to be Billy Graham's mother; and that inspired me...
